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Outlook 2008
And now for the good news...
About Leeroy Jenkins
1/16/2008 7:43:00 AM | Source: webmetricsguru.com/2... | Read About: Leeroy Jenkins

 

American business owners are surveying a bleak and barren landscape. Welcome to 2008.

Hey! Don’t quit reading. This story has a happy ending, trust me.

Let’s take a quick look at that business landscape:

The Treasury Department is printing dollars to pay for Iraq,
so each dollar is worth less than it’s been worth in a long time. Do you remember how the prices on the backs of books always showed a much higher price in Canada? That’s about to get reversed. Canadian dollars are now worth more than ours.

The price of gold just rose to an all-time high of nearly $900 an ounce.
When people are scared, they buy gold.
Evidently, they’re frightened as hell right now.

The price of oil just rose to an all-time high of $100 a barrel, causing U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke to publicly warn that high oil prices could seriously damage the U.S. economy.

(Really, Ben? You think so?)

Citibank announced it lost $9.8 billion during the last quarter of ’07 and will “cut jobs,” causing Marshal Sponder to write, “Citibank is staying afloat, along with much of the rest of the US services economy, via the investment of foreign capital.” He then went on to speculate, “It's not just Citibank, it's what Citibank represents. There’s 10 more big banks, just like Citi, that did the same thing. What's going to happen when they reveal all their 4Q earnings?”

On top of all this, major employers have happily “outsourced” millions of American jobs to China and India, so troops now in Iraq may soon return home to find that jobs are even harder to track down than terrorists.

Traffic is down in most retail stores
which means my job as an advertising consultant is about to get really tough. (Boo-hoo for me, right?)

Anyone who is perky about business in 2008 has likely been to one-too-many Tony Robbins seminars. (Tony fans, please accept my apology in advance. No need to write.)

So here’s the happy ending: Americans have always worked hard, played hard. It’s just who we are. Well, playtime’s over. It’s time once again to rise up, do the hard thing, fight like hell, think, plan, scheme, build, risk, grow and win. We’re the best at it in the whole world.

It’s who we are.

Leeroy Jenkins



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Category: Book Reviews Add to Technorati Favorites

An Example of Extraordinary Writing
Vivid. Memorable. Surprising.
About Leeroy Jenkins
11/9/2007 3:15:00 PM | Source: mondaymorningmemo.co... | Read About: Leeroy Jenkins
My friend David McInnis sent me this.
I think it's an excellent example of extraordinary writing.

This is an actual essay written by a college applicant to NYU:

IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:

ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice.  I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention.  I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes.  I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.  I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries.  When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard.  I enjoy urban hang gliding.  On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abrstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.  Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.  I don't perspire.  I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail.  I have been caller number nine and have won weekend passes.  Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration.  I bat 400.

My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.  Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.  I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening.  I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket.  I have performed several covert operations with the CIA.  I sleep once a week: when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair.  While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery.  The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid.  On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.  Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.  I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.

I breed prizewinning clams.  I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.

I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.


(The author was accepted to NYU.)

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Category: Book Reviews Add to Technorati Favorites

Iacocca's New Book
Where Have All the Leaders Gone?
About Leeroy Jenkins
9/1/2007 8:45:00 AM | Source: amazon.com/Where-Hav... | Read About: Leeroy Jenkins


Where Have All the Leaders Gone is laser-point Lido. Concise. Blunt. Insightful. 264 quick pages.

At 82, Iacocca is fearless. We’re only on page 5 when we read, “Some of us are sick and tired of people who call free speech treason. Where I come from that’s a dictatorship, not a democracy.” The statements made and names named in the next 95 pages are dizzying.

You may want to skip those first 100 pages if you’re a fan of the war in Iraq and feel that the current crop of candidates for 2008 are the best and brightest America has to offer. But I enjoyed these pages and found them to be surprisingly insightful and well-researched.

Here’s another glimpse into those first 100: “When pollsters ask ordinary people what they really care about, in order of importance, here’s what they say: (1.) the war in Iraq, (2.) jobs, (3.) health care, (4.) education, and (5.) energy. Those seem like reasonable priorities to me… But in one three-month session in the United States these were the priorities: a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, a constitutional amendment to ban flag burning, and cutting the capital gains tax. Our senators had time to debate flag-burning for 3 days, but no time to tackle health care, energy, jobs, or anything else Americans care about. Since 1777, there have been only forty-five documented cases of flag burning. But since 2000, nearly 3 million manufacturing jobs have gone up in smoke, and it wasn’t because people were burning flags.”

But even though he carries his sharpest sword, Iacocca doesn’t come across as a bully or a know-it-all. The same 82 years that made him fearless made him humble as well. You can’t help but like the guy when he openly names his biggest mistakes and grieves them.

Page 127: “When advertising slogans are better known that the 10 Commandments or the Bill of Rights, when shopping malls are our places of worship, when bad behavior is justified as long as it leads to profit, when debt is justified as long as it leads to a plasma TV, and when the measure of a person is the kind of car he drives, maybe it’s time to ask whether we’ve corrupted the very notion of capitalism. Believe it or not, capitalism originated as a system for the little guy. It replaced feudalism, in which a few wealthy owners had all the power and money and the common person had nothing. It was a noble ideal.”

On page 159: “When you stop to think about it, most of the great companies of our times began as upstarts – little Davids taking on big Goliaths.”

On page 217: “In a completely rational society, teachers would be at the tip of the pyramid, not near the bottom. In that society, the best of us would aspire to be teachers, and the rest of us would have to settle for something less. The job of passing civilization along from one generation to the next ought to be the highest honor anyone could have.”

On page 253, near the end of the book: “No matter how important you think you are, you’re just a little blip on the screen of time.”

Iacocca makes it clear that he won’t be running for public office. But after reading Where Have All the Leaders Gone, you can’t help but wish he would.

Leeroy Jenkins


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Category: Book Reviews Add to Technorati Favorites

Diagnose Your Marketing Problem
It's Easier Than You Think
About Leeroy Jenkins
1/9/2007 1:56:00 PM | Read About: Leeroy Jenkins
Is your business growing slower than you think it should? Do you suspect its slow pace might have something to do with ineffective marketing?

The average business owner feels their business should be growing faster, but few know how to isolate the problem. Today we’re going to fix that.

The elements that affect the growth of your business will fit into one of four distinct categories. Understand these categories and you’ll have a framework for self-examination.

1. Share of Voice: What is your percentage of the total exposure for all the businesses in your category? How much of the total signage is yours? TV advertising? Radio advertising? Newspaper? Direct mail? Web traffic? If there are news stories related to your category, do they mention your brand or someone else’s? What percentage of the word-of-mouth advertising is yours? Each of these things contributes to your total Share of Voice.

Share of Voice can be purchased. But be careful; most advertisers try to reach too many people. A message of true importance needs to be delivered only once to be remembered. But is your message really that important to your customer? Is it safe to assume that your message will be remembered after being heard only once or twice?

Problem: You’re reaching too many people with too little repetition.
Solution: Buy more repetition from fewer vendors.

Tip: Be an important advertiser to one or two audiences instead of an invisible advertiser to three or four.

2. Impact Quotient: How impressive is your offer when compared to the offers of your competitors? To be impressive, your message must first be believable, so close the loopholes in your message.

Loophole Open: Advertisers often cry, “Everything Must Go!” But the listener is thinking, “Or what? What happens if you don’t sell it? You’ll just come up with some new angle next week, right?”

Loophole Closed: “Everything must go! Any jewelry not sold by the end of the day will be melted down and sold as scrap. This means that until 9 o’clock tonight you can buy finished jewelry for slightly more than the value of the raw materials.”

Question: “What about targeting? You haven’t said anything about reaching the right people.”
Answer: I’ve never seen a business fail because they were reaching the wrong people. But I’ve seen hundreds fail because they were
(1.) reaching too many people with too little repetition, or
(2.) delivering a message that no one cared about. You’re going to be surprised how many people suddenly become “the right people” when you begin delivering a more impressive message.


3. Personal Experience Factor: Are you exceeding your customer’s expectations or falling short of them? Do you have the brands they prefer or are you pushing a weak alternative? Are your prices higher or lower than your customer expected?

A strong ad will only temporarily prop up a business that delivers a weak Personal Experience Factor. Unimpressive reputations nullify impressive ads. Have you been trying to solve an internal problem with external advertising?


4. Market Potential: What will be the total dollar volume sold in your product or service category this year? Do you know the total, potential volume for your trade area? What percentage of that financial pie is yours? If you don’t have access to this information, there are two easy ways to get it.
(1.) Carefully list every competitor you face along with you best estimate of their sales volume in your trade area. This can usually be done with a reasonable degree of accuracy. How many employees to they have? How much inventory? Square footage? Estimate objectively and don’t leave anyone out.
(2.) Contact a trade organization or Google to find a figure for total, nationwide sales volume in your category. Divide that number by the population of the United States (currently about 298,500,000) to get a per capita sales volume. Multiply that number times the population of your trade area. I think you’ll be surprised how close the two numbers are.

It’s easier to grow small businesses than large ones. Show me a business selling only 5 percent of the Market Potential in their category and I’ll show you a business with huge growth potential. Show me a competitor 8 times as large – one that’s currently selling 40 percent of their market potential – and I’ll show you a business that’s going to have to work very hard to hang onto what they’ve got.

Uncommitted customers are the easiest to steal. Consequently, early growth comes with less effort than later growth, when the low-hanging fruit has all been picked. The business selling 40 percent of their market potential must now fight to win those customers who have some degree of loyalty to a competitor. Rarely does a business achieve more than 40 percent of the total, potential volume in their product or service category.

Examine your business through the 4 lenses of Share of Voice, Impact Quotient, Personal Experience Factor and Market Potential and you’ll quickly identify what’s been holding you back.

Advertising can’t change your Personal Experience Factor or your Market Potential. But a focused media plan will dramatically improve your Share of Voice (by reaching fewer people with greater frequency.) And better ad writing will dramatically increase your Impact Quotient.

Go, grow your business. Live the American Dream.

And good luck to you.


Read About Leeroy Jenkins
Category: Branding Strategy Add to Technorati Favorites

The Father of Rap
Danger! Danger! This is Religious...
About Leeroy Jenkins
10/16/2006 7:04:00 AM | Source: youtube.com/watch?v=... | Read About: Leeroy Jenkins
If you've never heard an African-American minister riff, you owe it to yourself to watch and listen to this way-cool 3-minute video.

Believe it or not, what you're about to hear was almost certainly unscripted. The best evidence of this is the moment – about halfway through the piece – when Lockridge stumbles and says "You can't get him off of your hand." A person scripting a message would never write that line.

Masterful use of alliteration and meter make this message musical.

Liquid literature, magnetic music and awesome ads use alliteration and meter as well. Do you know how?

S.M. Lockridge was the minister at Calvary Baptist Church in San Diego from 1953 to 1993. "That's My King" was delivered there in 1976. Lockridge died in 2000.

Thumbs Up if you enjoyed the video.
Thumbs Down if you don't think this post belongs.

We are guided by your response.



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Category: Cultural Interest Add to Technorati Favorites

How Much Should You Budget for Advertising?
Check Out This Automatic Ad Budget Calculator
About Leeroy Jenkins
10/13/2006 7:43:00 PM | Source: adbudgetcalculator.c... | Read About: Leeroy Jenkins

The correct amount to budget for advertising can be calculated only by multiplying your top-line sales volume by your average storewide markup, then deducting the cost of occupancy.

Miraculously, the great Dave Young has created an automatic, online ad budget calculator and donated it as his personal gift to the small businesses of the world.

Check it out. It's amazing. You plug in your sales volume, your average markup, and your rent, and the ad budget calculator instantly shows you a conservatve ad budget and an aggressive ad budget.

This is truly an amazing tool.


Read About Leeroy Jenkins
Category: Emerging Technologies Add to Technorati Favorites

What Annoys Us Most
or, "What Not To Do at Work"
About Leeroy Jenkins
10/11/2006 11:19:00 AM | Source: us.randstad.com/weba... | Read About: Leeroy Jenkins
According to a Harris Interactive survey on workplace etiquette,

44% of employed Americans say their biggest pet peeve at work is having to listen to someone speak in a condescending tone of voice. Additionally,

37% cited public reprimands as a major pet peeve.

34% mentioned being micromanaged as another big one.

32% said that loud talkers annoy them hugely.

So if you want to wake up in an emergency room, just use a condescending tone and a loud voice when publicly reprimanding someone you've micromanaged.

Or, you might want to do the exact opposite: Use an upbeat tone at a normal volume when openly praising an empowered employee for making a good decision.

Sometimes we just need to be reminded of the basics, right?


Read About Leeroy Jenkins
Category: Staffing Add to Technorati Favorites

How the British See America
Survey Results from the BBC
About Leeroy Jenkins
10/11/2006 8:12:00 AM | Source: spiritmag.com/... | Read About: Leeroy Jenkins

The early October, 2006, issue of Southwest Airlines Spirit magazine reports the results of a 2003 survey conducted by the BBC.

When asked to name The Greatest American Ever, Brits came up with the following list:

4. Mister T.  "I pity the foo'."
3. Martin Luther King, Jr. "I have a dream..."
2. Abraham Lincoln  "Four score and seven years ago..."
1. Homer Simpson "Doh!"

Give it some thought and it begins to make sense. Lincoln and King represent, in the minds of others, the best that can be found in us. Sort of like how Gandhi represents the best of India. Bumbling Homer and comic badass Mister T represent another side of us; a bumbling, not-so-bright character who sometimes flexes big muscles.

Or maybe you interpret the survey another way?

Feel free to leave your opinion after you click a thumb.



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Category: Cultural Interest Add to Technorati Favorites

ASB Editor in the News!
Ray Seggern is What's Happening in Canada
About Leeroy Jenkins
10/5/2006 7:16:00 AM | Source: https://wizardacadem... | Read About: Leeroy Jenkins
If you're a business reader looking for advice, insights, tips or other valuable information, you should probably skip to the next story because this one is just a lot of bragging about one of our own American Small Business editors.

The lovely and talented Ray Seggern was the feature story in Moncton, Canada, this week. I've posted a scan of the newspaper if you'd care to take a look.

Ray's daily posts are currently the second most-widely-read stories at AmericanSmallBusiness.com

(The most widely-read editor is that jerk, Leeroy Jenkins.)


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Category: Miscellaneous Add to Technorati Favorites

I Own the World's Most Expensive Refrigerator
It's Not the Size, but the Unexpectedness that Counts
About Leeroy Jenkins
10/4/2006 9:56:00 AM | Source: seroundtable.com/arc... | Read About: Leeroy Jenkins
Intellectually, I understand that it's the most overpriced refrigerator on earth. But emotionally I'm really kind of proud of it. I'm of two minds. My left brain says, "You're an idiot." But my right brain says, "Very few people have one of these."

Sure, I've got a hundred thousand dollars invested in it. And if Google had told me up front what I was going to receive when I crossed the threshold of 1 Million Google AdWord Clicks, I would have been insulted by the sheer pettiness of it. But the fact that it arrived without warning was kind of cool.

Here's my point: What might you be giving your best customers without hyping it, promising it, or telling them that it's coming? I'm of two minds. And so are all your customers. Gifts of appreciation are never a bad idea. Don't talk yourself out of giving them.



Read About Leeroy Jenkins
Category: Media Performance Add to Technorati Favorites

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